A psalm of David. When the prophet Nathan came to him after David had committed adultery with Bathsheba.
1Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.
2Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.
3For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is always before me.
Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight;
so you are right in your verdict
and justified when you judge.
5Surely I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
6Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb;
you taught me wisdom in that secret place.
7Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
8Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
9Hide your face from my sins
and blot out all my iniquity.
10Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
11Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.
12Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
13Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
so that sinners will turn back to you.
14Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God,
you who are God my Savior,
and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.
15Open my lips, Lord,
and my mouth will declare your praise.
There are two directions one can go after living in sin: pride and penance.
Pride is a doubling down in which one flaunts and celebrates his or her sinful ways. In the most fallen areas of the West, there are today “pride parades” in which those who practice what is inverted parade themselves down the main streets of towns—in full and deliberate view of children—not with shame or remorse, but with pride, decrying any “prejudice” against them, as if their parade wasn’t explicitly aimed at celebrating sin, something from which we are to guard ourselves and avoid.
This is what is most peculiarly evil about pride: it is not enough for the prideful to sin in private...rather, they insist on being “loud and proud,” on publicly idolizing their sinful ways before others. It is no mere lack of remorse, but a flagrant campaigning for what is inverted. For those who parade their sins in such a way, it is evident that their own rejection of morality does not satisfy them—and how could it? Rejection of morality and indulgence in sin never ultimately satisfies anyone.
So what do the prideful do? They double down. They celebrate their sin and seek to have others join them...they want others to become as they are. To extol, to praise, to parade and wave flags—is this not also to beckon?
To corrupt others is a most deceitful way of seeking validation; it is a continued effort in chasing a satisfaction that sin will never provide, in hopes that the approval and joining-in of others will. Sin does not satisfy, nor will doubling down on it in an attempt to corrupt others. The path of pride is not only unrepentant, but actively seeks to invert the truth before others in a public setting, calling what is evil “good” and what is good “evil.” The height of their evil is not their “original” sin, but their celebration of it.
Penance is the polar opposite: whereas pride doubles down and publicly celebrates and endorses sin, penance is characterized by remorse and departure from sin, action taken in an effort to strengthen one’s connection with God after falling away from Him into sin. Whereas pride calls what is evil “good” and what is good “evil,” penance admits the evil that was done and renounces it as such...and then turns toward what is good, walking that straight and narrow path.
Pride and penance are the two directions one can go after living in sin—but there is also the possibility of not going anywhere. Indeed, not going anywhere is probably the most common state. In other words, while most do not go the path of pride, penance may yet seem daunting or something they are “not ready for” or, rather, they do not yet feel like departing from their sinful ways or perhaps feel as if they are incapable of doing so. And yet, they do not double down and celebrate their misdeeds as the prideful do; rather, they sin in the shadows, not proud of what they do and likewise not wishing for others to stumble—indeed they hide their stumbling as best they can from others so to not embarrass themselves or try to normalize their misdeeds before others. Though not yet penance, this state might be considered a precursor to penance—we might call it purgatory.